When I was 15 I knew I was addicted. I could not to stop using drugs and drinking even if I wanted to. At that time it was not the end of the world for me though as I could not see the future problems as clear as I see them now. When I was 21 my wife kicked me out of our home. Without any education, job or life goals I was living in my car, hopelessly using drugs and drinking. That was the first time when I agreed to start rehabilitation and to try and solve my addiction problems.
It took 6 years during which I had several suicide attempts and experienced even greater suffering till I got to the lowest point and started the rehabilitation again. This time I stayed sober for longer, got the job I was previously dreaming about, got respected by my family and friends but it was still not enough. In the end I chose the same path I had gone all my life before. I lost everything I had. One night I woke up and saw that my friend is lying dead next to me.
This lifestyle has shown me a lot of pain and suffering. I have been in many dark places around the world, and they have always stayed in my mind. I went to Thailand to search for answers. I have always been a thinker and wanted to understand who I am and why am I here.
In the process of my recovery, I met many wise people who helped me to understand the most important life lessons.
All my life I have been circulating around two things – addiction and recovery. If you do something for such a long time you became an expert as a result, whether you want to or not. I feel that my mission and passion in this life is to help similar people to find the true calling in life. And nevertheless, make this process enjoyable.
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